Life Ain't Fair
by Darkangel81
Summary: Logan has to make a decision over life and death. Will he and Max be able to deal with the consequences?(better summary inside) ML!Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The main characters don't belong to me and I don't intend to make any money with this story.  
  
Summary: Logan has to make a tough decision, saving a friend or countless strangers. The friend's brother can't live with the decision and freaks out. Will Max and her new found ally be able to safe Logan and other hostages in time?  
  
(I'm bad at summaries!!)  
  
A/N: Thanks to somebody's angel for her help with betaing, the summary and title. I owe you girl!  
  
*Life Ain't Fair*  
  
*  
  
Chapter 1  
  
*  
  
"Hey! Where are you headed?" Max just wanted to step out of the elevator when she almost bumped into Logan. She had to grab his shoulders to avoid falling right into his lap.  
  
"Hospital," Logan explained, reaching for her arms himself to help her back up.  
  
Max immediately tensed. "Are you okay? What happened?"  
  
"Nothing," he chuckled at the obvious concern in her voice. It made his heart pound faster. She did care about him!  
  
"So why are you going then? I thought you weren't much into it?"  
  
"Actually, I hate hospitals. But an old friend of mine there. I only found out yesterday."  
  
"What's up with him?"  
  
"He's waiting for a liver transplant."  
  
Max shrugged. "Is it hard to get one?"  
  
"Yeah. No matter how much modern medicine improved over the last few decades, there are still quite a few things it hasn't achieved." He unconsciously rubbed his thighs. Usually, the gesture wouldn't draw much attention, but Max noticed immediately and it killed her to see how much he still hurt. No matter how well he tried to hide, there were small gestures and comments, or just a tinge of bitterness creeping into his voice every once in a while that told her another story.  
  
Logan wheeled past Max into the elevator. "Why did you stop by in the middle of the day anyway?"  
  
Max put a hand out to keep the elevator from closing. "Normal gave me a day off, said he was tired of having me complain about never having a day off," she grinned.  
  
"Not afraid you might lose your job?" Logan raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Nah," Max waved it off. "Tomorrow he'll have loads of packages and I'll keep my mouth shut for a few hours. Then it's gonna be forgotten."  
  
"Whatever you say. I really need to go though." He pushed the button for the parking garage again.  
  
"Mind if I come?" Max hopped inside before the door closed. "Got no plans."  
  
"If you want to. I'd like not having to go there alone. Hospitals are giving me the creeps," he admitted.  
  
"Sure. I'm actually starved anyway. They always have food there, haven't they?"  
  
"You don't really mean to say that you would eat hospital food voluntarily?" Logan laughed.  
  
"Girl's gotta eat," Max smiled back. "I've had worse."  
  
Before Logan could answer or question the meaning behind her words the elevator opened and they crossed the few feet to the Aztek.  
  
Max waited patiently until Logan had transferred then she wordlessly stored away the wheelchair, leaving him no room to argue. "Okay, ready!" she finally exclaimed, fastening her seatbelt.  
  
**  
  
"When will he get a new liver? He doesn't have much time left," a young dark-haired man asked the young blonde nurse nervously. His gaze wandered nervously into a hospital room to his right where a slightly older man with similar dark hair and good looks lay, his face pale and haggard.  
  
"It's not that simple, Mr Leyva. We're trying all we can, but you can't just manufacture organs matching your brother's blood type. I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah, right," the man muttered. He had heard that line a million times over the past few months.  
  
"Brad?" He turned around only to see a thirty-something-year old guy come towards him in a wheelchair.  
  
"Excuse me. Do I know you?" he asked slightly on edge. He couldn't place him, even though he could tell that the face seemed somewhat familiar.  
  
"Logan Cale. I went to Yale with your brother." Logan held out his hand.  
  
"Of course! Now I remember. You…have changed," he finished.  
  
"Haven't we all?" Logan responded uncomfortably. It was always the same when people from his old life met him in the chair. "Ahem, this is Max. Max, Brad."  
  
They shook hands and Max noticed the same exhausted blankness in Brad's dark eyes she had seen in Logan's blue ones before.  
  
"How's Randy?" Logan asked now.  
  
Brad shrugged. "Not so good. He needs a liver soon or…" his voice broke.  
  
"Can I see him?"  
  
"Sure, right that room over there." Logan wheeled into the room, followed by Brad while Max sat down on a plastic chair attached to the wall of the hallway. She didn't feel like disturbing this meeting. After all, she didn't even know the guy- and this terrible sadness in Logan's eyes was something she could do without right now.  
  
**  
  
Logan gasped involuntarily when he laid eyes on his former roommate. Of course, almost ten years had passed since they had last seen each other, but still, Randy looked much older than he should. His cheeks were sunken, his skin was unnaturally grey and the dark circles under his eyes were almost blue. Logan wondered if he had looked like that after the shooting. Maybe that was why so many people had been hesitant to come see him, because they couldn't deal with the change. Couldn't deal with the fact that the Logan they had known was gone.  
  
He set his brakes next to his friend's bed and looked at him as he lay there with closed eyes. "Randy?"  
  
Brad leaned closer from the other side. "Randy, you've got a visitor. Logan's here."  
  
Slowly, Randy's eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to focus on the faces in front of him. Eventually he turned his head towards Logan. "Hi. Long time no see," he said weakly.  
  
"That's true."  
  
"And this isn't quite the place for a happy reunion," Randy smiled, before he had to cough hard.  
  
"Sometimes you just can't be picky," Logan answered gently.  
  
"How did you find out I was here?"  
  
"Ellen called me. She somehow found out you were in hospital here in Seattle, and she knew I lived here. She asked me to say hello from her."  
  
"Ellen Prudy," Randy sank back as if he was already exhausted to the bone again. "She's a hot chick. Every guy wanted her. You ever had her?"  
  
Logan's gaze had wandered to the many machines next to Randy's bed. They triggered bad memories of his own hospital stay. Distractedly he shook his head. "Nope. You?"  
  
"Never. Hey, don't worry about all those monitors and machines. I think half of them are for show."  
  
"Tell me about it," Logan smirked.  
  
"Sorry?" Randy asked, slightly confused.  
  
In answer, Logan released his brakes and pushed back a few inches for Randy to see his wheelchair. "Car accident, almost a year ago," he explained quickly, not wanting to tell him the truth. People always kept asking question Logan didn't have answers for. He had learnt that car accidents seemed to be the easiest way out. "I've had my fair share of those, too."  
  
"I didn't know," Randy sounded genuinely sorry and shocked.  
  
Logan shrugged, trying hard to convey an air of indifference. "That's okay, I didn't really tell many people, actually I didn't tell anybody."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"No need to be. We all have our crosses to bear."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." He closed his eyes for a moment in order to gather some strength.  
  
Logan watched in concern. Randy had always been an athlete and party guy. To see him like this was disturbing and Logan had a hard time hiding his true feelings. Maybe it was just like that for so many people seeing him in the chair? Maybe they remembered the active, young man he used to be and realized that he wasn't ever gonna be that guy again.  
  
"You're still into writing?"  
  
"Huh?" Logan woke from his thoughts.  
  
"You're still a journalist?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. Still writing."  
  
"And? Did you settle for a girl?" His voice slowly but noticeably lost strength.  
  
"Well, not really, you know me…"  
  
Randy nodded, his eyes falling shut. "I guess I need some sleep," he mumbled, forcing them open one last time. "Thanks for stopping by. It was nice seeing you."  
  
"You're welcome. See ya later."  
  
Randy had already dozed off.  
  
TBC  
  
Feedback is greatly appreciated! I'd like to know if it's worth continuing after all… 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews!!! Keep'em comin';-)  
  
And to somebody's angel: thanks for betaing and thanks for "Juna"!  
  
*  
  
Chapter 2  
  
*  
  
Max sat on the plastic chair, staring at her feet while she listened to her stomach. She had soon given up on the idea of scoring hospital food. It was in the middle of the day and this floor didn't seem to offer much solid food anyway. She grimaced when a nurse shoved a bed past her. There was an old man lying in it who was staring straight ahead, muttering slightly. From what Max could hear his mutterings didn't make any sense. She was starting to be able to relate to Logan's aversion of hospitals. If she would have to spend more than three days in one, she would probably freak out, too. And Logan had spent god knew how many weeks in here.   
  
At least he had seemed genuinely relieved when she had offered to join him even though there wasn't much she could do.  
  
If only he would be a little more open when it came to his feelings. She would love to be there when he needed someone – but she had never been one to press. So either he asked or she would keep her distance.  
  
"Mackenzie, you stay right here, honey." Max looked up to see a red-haired woman towards her with a freckled, blonde little girl. The woman looked to be just a little bit older than Max herself. "I'm just gonna talk to the doctor and then we can go see Daddy, okay?"  
  
"'k Mom." Mackenzie hopped on the chair at the other end of the row and watched her Mom greet an elderly man in a white gown, then her gaze wandered until she finally discovered Max looking at her.  
  
"Hi," Max offered.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"I'm Max."  
  
"Mackenzie."  
  
"You're here with your Mom?"  
  
"Yeah. Why are you here?"  
  
"My friend's visiting someone."  
  
"I'm here to visit my Dad. He's gonna have surg…surgery."  
  
"What's the matter with him?"  
  
"Something about his heart. But my Mommy said he is gonna be fine."   
  
"For sure." Max smiled at the little curly haired blonde.  
  
"And your friend?"  
  
"He's not my friend, I actually don't even know him. But he needs a new liver."  
  
Mackenzie hopped from her chair. "Do you want a lollipop?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
The little girl walked straight towards the nurse's room and seconds later reappeared, triumphantly holding up two blue lollipops. "They always have some in there," she explained expertly.  
  
"Cool. Thanks."  
  
"I hate hospitals," Mackenzie stated matter-of-factly while struggling to unwrap the lollipop, "they make me sad."  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why do hospitals make me sad?" Max thought hard. Had she just said it without thinking, or was there really something disturbing about them? She had never been to one herself, the facilities at Manticore didn't really remind her of real hospitals. The only reason for her to hate hospitals was Logan, because of why he had been to one, because of why how he always made a face when somebody even mentioned the word. "Just bad memories, you know," she tried to explain.  
  
"But my Mom says that it's good we have them, that they help people."  
  
"You got a clever Mom," Max smiled, thinking about what Logan would say. He would probably raise his eyebrows and then change the subject.  
  
"Yeah, I know." Mackenzie stuffed the lollipop into her mouth, it almost filled it completely.  
  
*  
  
"Hey ladies," Logan came towards them, looking tired and sad. He tried to hide it behind one of his brilliant smiles, but Max noticed that it never reached his eyes. She wondered when she had learnt to read him that well.  
  
"Hi. Logan, this is my new friend Mackenzie. Mackenzie, this is Logan."  
  
"Hello," the girl was a little shy, but eventually accepted Logan's outstretched hand.  
  
"Nice meeting you, Mackenzie." He said.  
  
"Her Dad's in here, too." Max explained, smiling inwardly at the scene in front of her. Logan looked so cute with a kid! Whoa, where was this coming from?  
  
"I hope he is gonna be okay soon."  
  
"Yeah." Mackenzie nodded convinced. "We wanna go camping this summer."  
  
"Great." He turned his head up to look at Max. "Ahem, you ready?" He was eager to escape the facility.  
  
"Sure. Was nice meeting you, Mackenzie. Maybe we'll see each other again? And thanks for this," Max waved her lollipop in the air.  
  
"Bye, bye!" The girl waved after them until the elevator closed.  
  
Max twirled her lollipop in her hand, putting it in her mouth every now and then Logan looked up at her, amused.  
  
"Stretch out your tongue," he told her, grinning.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Come on." He chuckled when she did so. "You're all blue."  
  
"The lollipop?" she asked confused.   
  
"Manticore wasn't big on those, huh?"  
  
"Not really," Max frowned, trying to see her tongue in the reflection of the silver elevator door.  
  
"Anyway, are you still hungry or was the lollipop enough?"  
  
"You kidding me? I'm starving!"  
  
"Wanna go to the cafeteria? I could use a coffee."  
  
"Sure."  
  
**  
  
"Mommy! Mommy! There's Max!"   
  
Logan looked up at the voice and could see the little girl from earlier drag a tall, red-haired young woman their way.  
  
"Mackenzie! Easy there, honey! – Hi, I'm Juna. Sorry about her, but you two really seem to have impressed her."  
  
Max smiled up at the woman, but Logan immediately saw that something was wrong. For a short moment, too short for anybody else to see, Max's expression had been one of shock and confusion. And Max sure wasn't easily caught off guard or intimidated.   
  
"Yeah, she was nice enough to give me a lollipop," Max stuck out her tongue, laughing. "She just didn't warn me about this."  
  
"You just took them again. Haven't we talked about that?"   
  
"Mom!"  
  
"I can't believe this."  
  
"Sorry, Mom."  
  
Okay. And now say goodbye to your friends. We don't wanna bother them."  
  
"But Mom!"  
  
"Mackenzie!"  
  
"No, it's okay. Why don't you sit down and have a cup of coffee? You actually look like you might need one." Logan grinned. "No offence."  
  
"None taken. You are right, I guess. I really could use one. You sure?"  
  
"Absolutely!" Max agreed, still looking at the woman in a weird way.  
  
Logan frowned again. That wasn't Max's usual behaviour where strangers were concerned. "Mackenzie, why don't you come with me? We'll get your Mom a coffee and a hot chocolate for you. You could help me carry."  
  
"Okay." The girl questioningly looked up at her Mom to see if she approved of it. At the nod she quickly let her mother's hand go.  
  
"Thanks." Juna offered shyly.  
  
Logan unlocked his brakes and backed up. "You're welcome."  
  
He saw the look of surprise, or shock, cross Juna's face when she realized he used a wheelchair. He sighed inwardly. It was always the same. As long as people didn't know, he was treated like a normal guy, and the moment his condition was revealed, people got nervous around him, not sure how to behave towards him. He wondered if he would ever get used to that, if anybody ever got used to that.  
  
He looked up at Juna again, wanting to smile at her in order to help her, but to his surprise she seemed to have accepted his 'condition' already. Now that was new! He followed Mackenzie, still surprised.  
  
**  
  
Max knew that Logan had seen the look on her face and had probably even read it correctly. She guessed that that was why he had left with the child. He was amazing! No-one had ever been able to read her the way he could.  
  
She shrugged the thoughts of Logan off. He hadn't bought her the time for her to spend it considering him.  
  
Instead she cut right to the chase, she had never been for avoiding things – well, unless Logan was concerned. Not again, girl! Focus!  
  
"Where do you come from?"  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Sorry, you just seemed somehow familiar to me."  
  
"I don't think so," Juna chuckled nervously. But there was something harsh in Juna's voice while her face didn't show any emotions at all. Like she was trained to hide. Like she had hidden her shock at seeing Logan in the chair.  
  
But it was all Max had needed. Now she knew. "Its okay, forget it." She took a sip of coffee. "Mackenzie said her dad was in hospital? I hope he is gonna be okay."  
  
"So do I." Juna had obviously accepted Max's retreat.  
  
"Mom! I got cake!"  
  
Juna turned in her chair, smiling lovingly at her daughter who was coming towards them, her eyes trained on the two mugs she was carrying, concentrating hard on not spilling anything. "Great." She looked at Logan who followed suit, a plate with the cake on his knees. "But you didn't have to…"  
  
"No problem," Logan laughed and put the plate on the table and began manoeuvring the chair around to situate himself at it.  
  
"Logan, I hate to do this. But we have to get going. I totally forgot I have to be at work in half an hour." Max spoke in a casual tone, but Logan could tell that she was lying.  
  
"But you said…"  
  
"I'm sorry, I just forgot." She stood up, grabbing her jacket.  
  
Logan sighed. "Well, I guess we'll be off then. Maybe we'll see you around. And all the best for your husband!"   
  
"Thank you. Bye."  
  
"Bye, Logan! Bye, Max!" Mackenzie was already busy eating her cake.  
  
Logan didn't understand Max's sudden urgency and when she grabbed the back of his chair to get him to move faster, he almost lost it. "I hope you have a damn good reason," he muttered, jerking her hand away.  
  
*  
  
TBC… 


	3. Chapter 3

**  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"What the hell was that about?" Logan asked while trying to keep up with her. He had to manoeuvre around quite a few people in the busy hospital lobby. He was pretty good at controlling his chair, but people tended not to look down, so he was unnoticed most of the time. He had learnt that pretty early on, painfully, when women's handbags collided with the back or his head or people almost landed in his lap.   
  
Max didn't answer.  
  
He sighed and followed her to the car.  
  
Logan opened the doors and Max immediately sat down, shutting her door forcefully, not bothering to ask if Logan needed help. He quickly transferred and awkwardly heaved the pieces of his wheelchair into the backseat.  
  
"Mind talking to me now?" he spat, still slightly out of breath and certainly annoyed. "It wasn't really nice to leave like that, you know? Didn't you ever take 'good manners classes' at Manticore?" he asked sarcastically, not really proud of bringing it into this.  
  
"No, I didn't. And I guess in that case, she wouldn't care anyway."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Juna's Manticore," Max said shortly, her face a stony mask.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"She seemed familiar right away. After talking, I'm sure."  
  
"You are? What, you just asked her? Hey, you Manticore, too? Wanna exchange memories? Got a photo album to show me?" He didn't feel comfortable with the situation and didn't know how to respond, so he went for the sarcastic version. But he did know that this wasn't the right way. He mentally slapped himself. "Sorry."  
  
"'S okay."  
  
Logan sank back. "So she was a scientist? She's hardly older than you."  
  
"She's an X-3. One of the few who actually turned out looking like normal human beings," Max explained. "I was five when a few of them escaped."  
  
"There were others who escaped?" Logan looked at her in disbelief. Why had he never found out? Why had she never mentioned it?  
  
Max shrugged. "Only three of them did. They didn't care much, they had us. X-3s weren't quite as good as they had wanted them to be. Sure, they were a little stronger and faster than mere mortals, but that was about it."  
  
"Wow. What did she say when you confronted her?"  
  
"I didn't mention it."  
  
"But how can you…"  
  
"Logan, I know okay? It's that simple."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"You gonna talk to her again?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Max!"  
  
"I don't know, I'll think about it." Did she really want to face all that? Sure she had tried to find her siblings, but an X-3 wasn't one of her siblings. Did she really want to know what Juna had to tell her? Was she ready to share her experiences?  
  
Frustrated with the abrupt ending of the conversation Logan started the car. Now his thoughts drifted back to Randy. "He looked pretty bad," he said quietly.  
  
"Your friend?" Max knew who he was talking about, but she wanted to make him tell her.  
  
"I don't think he has much time left."  
  
"Is there anything you can do? Pull a few strings, you know?"  
  
"I've never looked into it. But I guess I gotta at least try."  
  
"You two were close?"  
  
Max leaned her arm against the car window and put her head into the palm of her hand, watching Logan intently.  
  
"We were roommates at college for more than two years. He was like a brother to me. The family I didn't have anymore, you know. On holidays I'd go to his home and spend the time with his family." Logan sighed. "It was a crazy time."  
  
"Do you wish for it back sometimes?"   
  
Logan thought about it for a long moment. "Back then I was a different person. I was a rebel, I was angry, disillusioned. Of course, sometimes I would like to have the carefree time back; but I'm also glad I have grown up and changed as a person. I wouldn't wanna be that guy again."  
  
Max wondered if the accident had turned him into who he was – but she was pretty sure it had happened earlier. He sure wanted the life before the chair back. But she still felt like she needed to ask, to understand. "When do you think you became who you are now?"  
  
Again, he took a moment. "I don't mean to sound like a wise-ass, but I think it just happens. Everybody needs time to figure out who he is. Back then I didn't have a clue. I was still searching and was pretty lost. You turn into who you want to be with age, and the things you experience define the route. My parents' deaths, my aunt and uncle, Daphne, Valerie, they all played a role."  
  
"The shooting?"   
  
Logan suddenly looked up. How was he supposed to explain that? He didn't like who he had become after that, hell, he didn't regard that guy as himself. When he looked into a mirror these days, he didn't recognize the man staring back at him, no matter how long he searched for familiarity. He still hoped that he would wake up one day and everything would turn out to be one big nightmare. "I…I don't know, Max."  
  
Max sensed that he didn't want to talk about it. It hurt that he didn't trust her. But she also knew that he hadn't really worked through it himself. "You know, I always wondered what made you start Eyes Only. I mean, you are generous, loyal, idealistic, naïve – whatever. But there are more people like that out there, at least I'd like to believe so. There must have been a point…"  
  
Logan interrupted her. "The frustration. The helplessness when I learnt I wasn't gonna make a difference by writing stupid articles. That just wasn't enough." He swallowed, collecting his thoughts. "I had a friend, and she got married and had kids. One day her husband found out his company manufactured cheap computer chips of low quality to be used in passenger aircrafts. The chances of those planes crashing were ten times higher. He told his bosses, but they didn't wanna hear about it, instead they had him killed when he threatened to tell the press." Logan looked over at her for a moment, pain clearly visible in his beautiful blue eyes. "When I saw the faces of Lynn and her two kids at the funeral I knew I needed to do something."  
  
Max could tell it hurt him to talk about it and decided to drop it - for now. She didn't want to force him to dig too deep right now, not when he was still so fragile and vulnerable. He would have to want to talk to her, otherwise it wouldn't do him any good.  
  
"Mackenzie was cute, wasn't she?" She asked after a long moment of silence that had said more than words ever could.  
  
Logan visibly relaxed, glad she understood and accepted. "Yeah. Wonder if she has some of her Mom's talents."  
  
Max shrugged. "Case did, would make sense. Then again Juna wasn't nearly as close to perfection," she said the word as if it tasted bitter, "as we were said to be."  
  
Logan drove into the parking garage. "Wanna come up? I think I have leftovers in the fridge."  
  
"Sure!" She beamed.  
  
**  
  
Logan quickly put two plates in the oven and then went over to his computers, just like Max expected. She used the time to kick back and watch some TV until she saw him return to the kitchen.  
  
"What is it with this couple on that show? Don't TV couples usually get together after a few episodes?"  
  
Logan carefully reached for the plates and handed them to Max.  
  
"Hmmm, smells great."  
  
"Which couple?"  
  
"The one on TV." Max motioned towards the living room with her shoulder and Logan looked up, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Wanna eat over there?" he quickly grabbed two forks and was already on his way to the living room, positioning himself close to the low table, waiting for Max to bring his plate.  
  
Max followed, smiling. "See! I have watched parts of episodes, and they never seem to get together."  
  
Logan chuckled. "He's gay, Max. That's Will & Grace!"  
  
"Ohh." She sat back on the sofa, her plate in her lap. "It's funny though."  
  
"Yeah, it is." Logan smiled back. It felt so wonderful having Max here with him. Secretly he imagined what it would be like if that was his life, Max and him, having dinner in front of the TV and then talking and laughing until they went to bed tiredly and happily. Yeah, only that Max didn't sleep because she didn't have to, he didn't sleep because he had work to do and wanted to avoid any nightmares. And most of all because they were not even like that!  
  
**  
  
"You'll spend the evening working?" Max asked after finishing off her plate.  
  
"I guess." He sighed. What else did he ever do?  
  
"Then I'll head over to Crash. You'll beep me when you need me?" Max stood up.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm not just talking about legwork, aiight?" She intently looked down at him.  
  
Logan smiled softly. "Have fun."  
  
"You, too." Max frowned. "What's up?" She had sensed that something was wrong immediately, but she had hoped he would manage to hide so she didn't have to worry. But right now it was too obvious for her to ignore.  
  
"Nothing. I just…Seeing Randy like this was hard."  
  
"It kills you when people you love suffer and there's nothing you can do." Max still had her eyes on him.  
  
"Yeah." He cast his eyes down for a moment, feeling weirdly guilty. The look in Max's eyes had been so intense. She had not been talking about Randy. "It's been weird, you know. Usually, when meeting old friends, I'm the one getting the pitying looks- today it was different. And…and on some level I…I enjoyed it, you know, somewhere deep down it felt good, a nice change."  
  
"And now you feel guilty." It was more of a statement than a question.  
  
He shrugged.  
  
Max took a step closer, but then stopped. Did she have a right to try to comfort him? "Don't worry too much, please. It accomplishes nothing." Max didn't know what else to say. What could she say? Right now she felt like she didn't understand a thing about Logan. Could she even dare to say he shouldn't worry? It sure wasn't what he wanted to hear, right? Of course, he worried. It was who he was- while she just was a soldier who had never learnt to deal with human emotions. She was a fogbank, right? What did she know about emotions?  
  
But what did he want to hear? And did he want to hear anything from her of all people, a killing machine, a science project gone wrong?  
  
No, she didn't have the right to tell him what to do.  
  
But who else was there? It was either her or no one. Out of an impulse she took the last few steps towards him and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Call me, any time."  
  
Logan stared after her until he heard the door fall shut. His hand automatically wandered to his cheek, touching the spot where Max's soft lips had rested only moments before. He smiled a little but immediately chided himself 'Get a grip!', and returned to his computers.  
  
**  
  
Crash was loud as always, and today it was in fact a little too loud. Max greeted her peeps with a distracted look.  
  
"Whazzup?" Original Cindy immediately noticed that something was wrong.  
  
"Nothing. Just had a rough day."   
  
"You didn't even have to put up with Normal's bip bip bip! I'd count myself lucky."  
  
"I was at the hospital with Logan."  
  
"He aiight?"  
  
"He visited a friend." She refused the glass of beer Sketchy offered. He just shrugged and drowned it himself. "Know what, I think I'll go home. See ya later!" Max left before her friends could object. She just wasn't in the mood for careless chatting and drinking.  
  
She already was on her way home when, out of an impulse she turned her bike around and headed towards Fogle Towers.  
  
** 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See chapter one  
  
A/N: Many thanks to Somebody's Angel for trying to make this text a little more "english" and better.  
  
To all those people who reviewed and wrote encouraging and positive: THANK YOU SO MUCH!  
  
This is for you guys! Have fun.  
  
*  
  
Chapter 4  
  
*  
  
"Hey," Max had entered his apartment expecting to find him typing away on his computers. But all lights in the office had been switched off, just like the lights in the rest of the apartment.  
  
She found him sitting on the couch, staring thoughtfully into a glass of scotch; the bottle was standing on the low table. She had hardly seen him drink anything but wine or an occasional beer.  
  
Two candles offered a flickering light that bathed his face in all kinds of different shades. He looked tired.  
  
At the sound of her coming closer he raised his eyes, obviously surprised by her appearance. "Hey, thought you were at Crash."  
  
"I was." She sat down in front of the couch in his wheelchair and looked at him. "You okay?"  
  
"You asked that before." He couldn't take his eyes from where she had made herself comfortable- comfortable, right!  
  
For a moment Max wondered if he didn't want her to sit there. But to hell with it! She kept telling him that the chair was not an issue for her. He would just have to deal with it.  
  
"Did you find a way to help Randy?" she asked putting one foot on the seat and putting her arms around her leg, resting her chin on her knee.  
  
He sighed, pushed up to put the glass back on the table and then leaned back again, his hands rubbing over his face, defeated. "There's not much I or Eyes Only can do, I'm afraid. There aren't many organs on the market and a lot of people need one desperately."  
  
"Shit." Max looked at the bottle and the glass. The liquid was still moving in it. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Help yourself."  
  
She took a careful sip from Logan's glass and coughed involuntarily. "Hell, that burns!"  
  
He couldn't help but smile. In moments like this she was just a twenty year old girl. He loved those rare moments when her shields crumpled and all that was left of the tough soldier was Max.  
  
The liquid was burning in her throat, but a comfortable warmth spread through her body after a second. She certainly hoped it was due to the Scotch and not due to the appearance of the handsome guy seated across from her.  
  
"So you don't think he'll make it?" she tried to distract herself from thinking about Logan.  
  
"I don't know." Logan tiredly massaged his temples and then reached for his glass again and took a sip. He then held the glass in his hand, his index finger running in circles around the rim. "When you are a college student, your entire life lies ahead of you. We had so many plans, and now…"  
  
Max knew he wasn't just talking about Randy anymore. "You once told me the universe is right on schedule."  
  
"What's right about this?" he asked frustrated, knowing fully well that Max couldn't give him an answer and he appreciated that she didn't try. He was tired of those flowery phrases like 'it's all gonna be fine'. They didn't mean a thing to the person affected. It just wasn't that simple.  
  
Logan sighed. "I think I'll head to bed. Do you wanna stay in the guest bedroom?" He looked at her almost pleadingly- at least that's how it looked to Max.  
  
"Yeah, thanks." She stood up and busied herself with taking the bottle and glass to the kitchen while he transferred.   
  
When she returned from the kitchen he was on his way to the bedroom. "Night, Max."  
  
"Good night." She settled down on the sofa, in the same spot he had just vacated; it still felt warm under her. She put her arms on the backrest, staring out at the city below. A light drizzle somehow made it appear further away, almost surreal. She could hear Logan in the bathroom.  
  
Was this the way her life was meant to be? Somewhere, out of reach of real life, with some one she…well, loved? But he was just as untouchable and unreachable. She never made any progress with Logan. She couldn't blame it on him, well, not entirely. She was just as confused and scared. But if they both felt that way, why couldn't they just admit it? 'Because we're both stubborn as hell.' She sighed, if the universe was right on schedule, maybe this was the way it was meant to be? Maybe things would make sense one day. Maybe, hopefully.  
  
*  
  
Suddenly she could hear a noise coming from Logan's bedroom. She listened carefully for a second. When the noise didn't cease she sneaked closer, silently opening the door to his bedroom enough so that she could see through the crack.  
  
Logan was lying on his side, groaning, his face twisted in pain. He was awkwardly holding his lower back with his right hand while his left one gripped the blanket tightly, his knuckles white with the pressure.  
  
His right leg was jerking erratically.  
  
Max considered leaving before he noticed her; she was positive he wouldn't want her to witness this. But then he cursed out loud and without quite realizing what she was doing, Max jumped to his side, placing her hand on his shoulder. "What's going on? Logan?"  
  
"Max? Why…?"  
  
"I heard noises. What can I do?"  
  
"It's okay. Go back to sleep."  
  
"I won't leave before you tell me what's wrong!"  
  
"It's just a spasm," he gasped. "No big deal."  
  
Max swallowed, hating to see him in pain and hating even more that he apparently had these spasms on a regular basis- and she had never known! What had he done to deserve this? Wasn't it more than enough that he had to deal with the chair?  
  
Max watched helplessly as Logan struggled with his body. Her hand continued to stroke his shoulder gently.  
  
He reached over to his nightstand and pulled the upper drawer open. With a shaking hand he grabbed a little white bottle and tried to open it. A new wave of spasms attacked him and the bottle fell to the floor, the contents spreading over the hardwood floor.   
  
Max quickly bent down. "I got it. You need one?"  
  
"Three," he gasped.  
  
Max handed him the pills and then continued collecting the others.  
  
"It's okay, Max. I can do it in the morning."  
  
"No big dealio." She put the bottle on the nightstand when she thought she had found all the small pills. Then she looked carefully at Logan. "Feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks," he mumbled. His voice sounded tired.  
  
"You're welcome. And now get some sleep."  
  
"Night, Max," he slurred before his breath slowed significantly.   
  
Max stood up and covered him with the blanket that he had almost thrown off the bed in his agitated state. He looked so peaceful, like everything was okay, like he was the guy he so desperately wanted to be. She softly ran her fingers through his hair. "Sweet dreams."  
  
**  
  
"Hi! Thought I'd stop by."   
  
"It's noon. You're hungry," Logan stated matter-of-factly, grinning at her. He loved that he knew her so well he could see through her pathetic excuse.  
  
"You make it sound so bad." Max pouted.  
  
"Sorry." He wheeled to the kitchen, and Max could see that the short moment of happiness was obviously over. He seemed pretty distracted.  
  
"What happened?" Max followed him.  
  
"Brad called earlier this morning."  
  
"Randy okay?"  
  
"Yeah, he's still holding on."  
  
"But?"  
  
"But Brad found a liver."  
  
"And you're still down because…?"  
  
"Because something's wrong about this. He asked me for money, Max."  
  
"You're loaded. If your friend needs your money to survive…" she shrugged, not seeing a problem in that.  
  
"Of course, I'd be more than happy to give it to him. But you don't pay for organs, Max. Not when you get one legally."  
  
"Oh." Max nodded, the reason dawning on her. "I guess you spent the morning digging."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And?" Sometimes she hated how she had to force every word out of him.  
  
"I didn't come up with anything concrete yet. I guess I'll have to talk to Brad first."  
  
"So you'll go back to the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah," he sighed.  
  
"Want me to come?"   
  
"No, it's alright."   
  
"Whatever you say – thanks." She gratefully accepted the ham sandwich Logan had prepared and took a big bite. Logan's rejection had stung, even though she knew he hadn't meant it like that. It was ridiculous to even have that thought. He was an adult; of course he could handle one lousy hospital visit alone. And still, there was something about the way he acted, the way he appeared to her that made him more vulnerable than an adult. Was it the chair itself? Or was it this look in his eyes? The way he sat in his chair, lost, confused and exhausted from months of emotional and physical battle? She couldn't figure out the answer, not yet anyway.  
  
"Heaven," she mumbled after taking another bite. She then put the sandwich down. "There's something else, Logan. About last night…"  
  
"I'm sorry," he cut her off.  
  
"You don't have to be sorry. I'd just like to…"  
  
"Max, can you please drop it?" His voice sounded harsh. "It's no big deal, just comes with the territory."  
  
She was hurt. Why didn't he talk to her? Why couldn't he open up just a little bit? She wasn't asking for much. She just wanted to understand what was going on in his life. They were friends, after all, weren't they? But she didn't press, there was no point. They were both stubborn like that; if they didn't want to talk about something, no amount of pressing would force them to do so.  
  
They ate in silence.  
  
"Okay, gotta jet. I'll be back after work." Max threw her leather jacket over her shoulder and raised her hand to wave shortly.  
  
"Have fun."  
  
"And you – good luck."  
  
"See ya." Logan looked after her. "Max!" he called when she had almost disappeared from his field of view. "Thanks- for last night."  
  
"You're welcome." She gave him one of her sweet smiles before she headed out. It was at least a beginning!  
  
**  
  
TBC  
  
I would be really happy about a little, tiny review if you find the time. Helps keeping my spirits up, you know… 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
  
A/N: Thank you so much for the many great reviews! Makes this whole thing so much better!!!  
  
Again: Thanks to somebody's angel for reading the alpha version and turning it into something way better!  
  
And now enjoy!!  
  
**  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Logan wheeled straight to Randy's room. He had been on the exact same floor less than a year ago, but he had thankfully been unconscious or at least incoherent most of the time. The few memories he had left were bad enough. He sure couldn't deal with many more.  
  
"Hey," he softly greeted Brad from the door.  
  
"Hi. He's asleep." Brad stood up and stepped towards him. "I'm sorry about calling you and asking. I didn't know what else to do…I'll pay it back, I swear."  
  
"That's not the point, Brad. Can we talk outside?" He backed up and moved a few feet away from the room towards the row of plastic chairs where Max had waited the other day.  
  
Brad didn't sit down, apparently not getting the hint.   
  
Logan sighed. It wasn't one of his favourite things to do, having to lead a conversation while constantly looking up. "Where did you find that organization?" he asked immediately.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You don't usually pay that much money for organs," Logan insisted.  
  
"I know that guy who knows a guy, he made the deal."  
  
"Bard, this just doesn't add up. For all we know those guys might trade organs."  
  
"So?"  
  
"They kill people for it!" Logan couldn't believe Brad acted that indifferent.  
  
Brad shook his head. "I never thought I'd say this, but I don't care. This is about Randy, Logan!"  
  
"I know." Of course he knew!  
  
"So you're giving me the money?" The fear and desperation was evident in Brad's face.  
  
"I…" Logan swallowed. "I have to think about it."  
  
"What is there to think about? We don't have much time left!"  
  
"I'll let ya know tonight." Logan suddenly felt like running away. "I gotta go. When Randy wakes up, tell him I stopped by."  
  
Brad put a hand on Logan's shoulder, and all of the sudden Logan felt threatened. The gaze of the other guy was weirdly intense. "This is Randy's only chance."  
  
"Good bye, Brad." Logan tensely backed up and raced over to the elevators. He had to get out of there.  
  
**  
  
The moment Logan sat in his car he let out a deep breath. But he knew that it wasn't over. He automatically reached for his cell and punched in Max's number without quite thinking about what he was doing.  
  
She almost had to be done for the day, maybe she could get off a little early. He needed her right now, though he didn't really know what difference she could make. She just made it- for him. Ever since she had returned to him after the accident she had been his anchor, sometimes she was his only reason to go on. But she almost was the reason for a lot of his frustration; it was just so hard, seeing her every day, knowing he would never be good enough for her. He feared the day when she wouldn't show up because she had met some guy. Of course, he wanted her to be happy- but he also caught himself having egoistic thoughts. What would he do without her? What would his life be like? He was sacred he would slip back to the dark place he had been in right after the shooting, when he thought his life was not worth living it.  
  
He had seen Brad and how he cared for his brother. He hadn't had that kind of support in the hospital- he couldn't count on his family, he had given up on that illusion long ago. Who would be there if he needed someone? Bling? He was his best friend, but he also was his therapist. Would he be enough?  
  
Max was more important to him than he had ever liked to admit. He just needed her.  
  
**  
  
He wheeled into his apartment twenty minutes later. A headache had built up and he felt drained and tired.  
  
"Hi!" he looked up in surprise and saw Max standing in front of him. "You beeped me when I had just been on my way home, so I thought I could just as well come here for a shower."  
  
"Thanks." Logan sheepishly smiled at her.  
  
"So what is it?"  
  
"Do you mind taking that shower first? I think I need a few minutes."  
  
"Sure," Max frowned worriedly, but decided to give him the time he had requested. "Be right back."  
  
**  
  
"So, what went down?" Max sank down on the comfortable sofa after having grabbed an apple from the fridge. She looked intently at Logan's back, taking a big bite. Her hair was still wet and she twirled it into a knot so it wouldn't leave wet imprints on the expensive fabric.  
  
"I talked to Brad. He confirmed it. While you were in the shower I did some more research. An informant tipped me. It's definitely an organ trade ring behind this. I've got proof." He handed her an envelope and the pictures inside showed people being operated on, silver metal boxes, doctors, and dead bodies. "An informant sent those over," he explained defeatedly.  
  
"What are you gonna do?" Max put the pictures back inside the envelope. What she had seen was disgusting and her apple landed on the table.  
  
"I can't let them get away with it. They are killing people for money."  
  
"But if you blow'em up now, Randy probably won't get a liver in time," Max concluded.  
  
"Yeah." His voice was tired just like his entire body language. He sat there, defeated, helpless, confused.   
  
Max cursed inwardly. This was one of the moments Max thought Eyes Only was too much for him to handle. It was just not right to put the answer to so many questions on the shoulders of one man.  
  
"You could wait until Randy had surgery and then make your move," Max suggested half-heartedly, she knew Logan well enough to know that this was not how he worked.  
  
"You know that this isn't right," he confirmed her thoughts immediately.  
  
"Then you don't seem to have much of a choice," she stated, trying to sound convinced. She desperately wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone, but she couldn't. That would mean giving away too much.  
  
"But how am I supposed to face Brad or Randy, knowing I've signed his death warrant?"  
  
"You haven't done that, Logan. You're doing the right thing."  
  
"No, I'm killing a friend." With that he wheeled over to his computer and Max followed him.  
  
"You are saving people who also have friends and families, Logan. People who don't deserve to die just as much as Randy doesn't."  
  
"I have to piece the bulletin together."  
  
**  
  
Max returned to Logan's computer room at two am. She had watched TV for the past three hours, feeling like she had to stay with him. She had caught him glancing in her direction every now and then and her heart had taken up a beat every single time. Hell, this guy was getting to her! She was not supposed o get involved with anybody, she was too dangerous!  
  
Eventually she had heard the familiar lines Logan always used in his broadcasts. "…Peace. Out."  
  
She watched him switching the camera off and wheeling back to the computer, typing in a few commands. Without looking up he explained. "It'll air tomorrow morning. I think I should be with Brad and Randy when it does."  
  
"You think that is wise?" Max asked sympathetically.  
  
Logan turned around to face her. "I don't know, but I feel like I owe that much to them. I've just killed him." Logan's voice grew softer with every word and the last sentenced was barely more than a whisper.  
  
"No. It's destiny."  
  
"You don't believe in that," he reminded her.  
  
"Maybe I've changed my mind. Logan, this guy's really sick, but trying to survive by killing someone else ain't right. Who knows if he even wants to live with the knowledge that an innocent person died."  
  
Logan suddenly felt incredibly tired. This was wearing on him more than he liked to admit. As Eyes Only he had made a lot of decisions about life and death, but knowing the one person he had to sacrifice in order to have the good triumph over evil was extremely hard.  
  
"I'll go to bed," he announced eventually and unlocked his brakes. "Night, Max."  
  
"Night." She watched him wheel out of his office and saw him spin around one more time. "I said this a lot lately, but thanks again, Max, for everything."  
  
"You're welcome." She smiled at him, a wave of warmth and admiration washing over her. She could count herself lucky to have met a person like Logan. Their quid pro quo aside, he was the strongest human being she had ever met and he had taught her more about what life was really all about than anybody else before.  
  
**  
  
Long before Logan even stirred Max had gotten up, had had a long hot shower, brewed coffee and called Original Cindy so she could cover for her at work. Logan could get her a doctor's note later on.  
  
When he finally showed up in the kitchen, bleary eyed with dishevelled hair Max was just eating a banana. "Morning."  
  
"What are you doing here already?" He yawned. Sleep hadn't come easily and when it finally had, it was accompanied by weird, confusing dreams. He didn't feel rested at all.  
  
"You look like hell," Max stated.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Welcome. Anyway,I had never left in fact, camped out I the guest bedroom and used all your hot water. I thought I'm going to the hospital with you."  
  
"You don't have to." He filled a mug with hot coffee.  
  
"I know." Max didn't only want to support Logan but was also hoping to see Juna again. She hadn't gotten the woman out of her head ever since she had first seen her.  
  
"Max?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You'd spaced out. I said I was gonna take a shower and then we can leave."  
  
"Okay." Max agreed, trying to sound supportive. She just hoped things wouldn't get too messy. She was afraid Logan wouldn't be able to take it.  
  
**  
  
TBC… 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: See other chapters.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry it took me a little longer, but the past few days were crazy.  
  
Thanks so much to somebody's angel for her betaing!  
  
**  
  
Chapter 6  
  
*  
  
Logan slammed the palm of his hand on the steering wheel in frustration. The queue at the checkpoint was much longer than usual and he didn't have the patience to wait right now.  
  
Max had out her feet on the dashboard and eyed him carefully. "You sure wanna go there?"  
  
"Yes. Why?" His eyes were fixed on the truck in front of him.  
  
"Because I don't think you're up for it," Max stated. Usually she wouldn't have been that direct when Logan was concerned. But right now she couldn't think of another way to make her point than to call him on it.  
  
"Don't worry about me," he snapped. "I'm a big boy."  
  
"Whatever you say," she shrugged, realizing that he might as well take it the wrong way. But what the hell? She was tired of tiptoeing around his delicate male ego.  
  
He turned his head to look at her accusingly. "Max," he finally said, sounding almost defeated all of a sudden. "I want to be there for Brad when he finds out. He might need someone to comfort him."  
  
"Why does it have to be you?"   
  
"There is nobody else."  
  
"But…"  
  
"Max, I know what it's like to be alone when someone drops a bomb over your head. I don't want him to go through it alone, too."  
  
Max swallowed, suddenly feeling guilty. She hadn't had the guts to show up at the hospital – at least not while Logan was conscious. Did he blame her for it? She didn't think so, she hoped he didn't. Logan wasn't like that, was he?  
  
"Finally!" He drove to the checkpoint and moodily held out his papers to the policeman on duty. Max's chance to ask the question that had been bouncing around in her head for months was over. She actually was glad about it. She doubted she wouldn't have been brave enough to ask it anyway.  
  
**  
  
Ten minutes later Logan parked the car in front of the hospital. After transferring he checked his watch. The timer for the broadcast was set for 10 am exactly. That was in two minutes. He wouldn't make it upstairs in time- Max probably could, but not him, not like that, trapped in that damn chair. Still, he wondered if Max had been right and it was better that way. Regardless, if she had been right, he would never admit it, not to her.  
  
Max strolled into the lobby next to him. She always hated entering hospitals, she immediately felt trapped. And she knew Logan felt the same way. In silence they crossed the busy hall to reach the elevators when suddenly a familiar picture appeared on the TV set in the corner, high above their heads.   
  
"Do not attempt to adjust your sets…"  
  
"Let's go!" Logan whispered harshly when an elevator opened. He impatiently waited until the staff member had manoeuvred the empty bed out of it and then wheeled himself inside. He pushed the button even before Max had entered and before the door closed he caught a glimpse of his own eyes. That was it. Now it was decided. He had played God, decided about life and death.  
  
No need to see the broadcast.  
  
Eyes Only had blown up an entire ring of organ traders, but at the same time Logan Cale had sacrificed the live of a friend. He couldn't watch it.  
  
**  
  
"Brad?" Logan entered Randy's room, his heart hammering. Max had stayed back in the hallway, squeezing Logan's shoulder encouragingly before he had turned to face Randy.  
  
The young man sat on a chair next to his brother's bed, his face buried in his hands.  
  
"What happened?" Logan felt like he was betraying the brothers, like everybody could read his thoughts.  
  
"I can't believe it," Brad mumbled. "This can't be real."  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Haven't you seen it?" Brad jumped up. "This broadcast! This son of a b**** has blown up Randy's last chance. He- Eyes Only…there was this stupid broadcast…I can't believe it!!"  
  
"I'm sorry," Logan offered honestly, his eyes cast down.  
  
"Why now? Why not next week?"  
  
"Brad…"  
  
"How did he find out?" Brad suddenly glanced at Logan furiously, his eyes wide. "Did you talk? You were the only one I told about it."  
  
"Brad, you're not making sense here," Logan tried, his voice almost betraying him.  
  
"Yeah?" He moved toward Logan, and it seemed like he was going to attack the man in the wheelchair. But at the last moment he stopped and stormed out of the room instead.  
  
Logan stayed back, sitting in the room motionlessly, trying to keep his composure.  
  
**  
  
Max saw Brad burst past her and slowly stood up to enter Randy's room.  
  
"How did he take it?" she asked with concern.  
  
Logan shrugged. "Not too well, but that was to be expected."  
  
They both turned their attention towards the man lying in the bed as his eyes fluttered open and a low moan escaped his lips.  
  
"Hey," Logan had quickly spun around and was smiling down at his old friend.  
  
"Hey," Randy's voice was barely a whisper. "Where's Brad?"  
  
"He needed some fresh air, he'll be back soon." Logan leaned closer.  
  
Randy's gaze wandered to Max who was shyly standing behind Logan, shifting her feet. "Hi."  
  
"Hi, I'm Max." She stepped closer and without hesitation reached for the hand he could barely lift from where it lay on the bedding, her other hand came to rest on Logan's shoulder so that she could lean close enough without losing her balance.  
  
"You're Logan's girl?"  
  
"We're not like that," they replied in unison and grinned at each other, slightly embarrassed and Max quickly took her hand off Logan's shoulder.  
  
"Whatever you say." Randy looked slightly surprised. Then he sank back and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find some more energy.  
  
"Did he…did he tell ya 'bout that liver?" Randy coughed. He was white as a sheet, sweat standing on his forehead.  
  
"Yeah, he did." Logan could almost hear his heart drop to the floor. Not again, he couldn't go through the same conversation again!  
  
"Listen, I know he means well, but please, don't let him do it. This stinks. I don't want anybody else to die for me. I'll wait for my turn."  
  
Logan nodded. "I'll talk to him." He didn't want to elaborate on the Eyes Only hack and all the consequences. But he felt incredibly relieved Randy thought the same way.  
  
"Thanks." Randy's lips moved slightly in order to form a smile. "Would you mind talking about something different? I'm tired of having to elaborate my condition."  
  
"Sure, I understand." Logan agreed sympathetically.  
  
"You remember how we drove all the way down to Florida that first summer? With my grandpa's old car? Man, I'll never forget that trip!"  
  
**  
  
When Randy had turned his attention to Logan, Max had silently snuck out of the room, not wanting to intrude on the two friends catching up.  
  
"Hey!" she called out, surprised to see familiar face about to walk past her.  
  
"Hello, Max. How are you?"  
  
"Fine, I guess. What about you?" Max noticed the forced smile on Juna's strained face.  
  
"My husband's having surgery today," she explained, her voice cracking.  
  
"I'm sure it's gonna work out," Max offered, unsure of what else to say.  
  
"I hope it does."  
  
"Where's Mackenzie?"  
  
"She's sleeping in the nurse's room. She had nightmares all night long."  
  
"Do you need to be somewhere, cause I don't want to…" Max trailed off, feeling a little insecure.  
  
"No, I'm just trying to distract myself."  
  
Max decided to go for it then. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Can we sit down?" Max asked, gesturing toward a comfortable-looking couch towards the end of the hallway beneath a big window.  
  
"What is it?" Juna smiled, glad she could focus on something other than the risky surgery her husband was presently undergoing.  
  
"I'm gonna be straight. There's no other way to talk about this anyway."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Does the name Manticore ring a bell?"  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," Juna said in an even voice, but her eyes betrayed her. No matter how well trained she probably was when it came to hiding her true thoughts and feelings, this had been a completely unexpected attack, too unexpected to prepare for it. Max instantly knew she had been right all along.  
  
"I know who you are. X3-217, right?"  
  
"What the hell? Are you crazy or something?" Juna pulled her upper body away from Max's in an attempt to convince the X5 that she really didn't know what the other woman was talking about.  
  
"Juna, I don't mean any harm, and I sure won't tell anybody. I just needed to know."  
  
Max covered Juna's hand with hers but the other woman quickly brushed it off.   
  
"I think this conversation is over." She furiously stood up and turned to walk away, straightening.   
  
"Don't you want to know what happened to those who stayed back? Cora, Silas, Beck?" Max watched her retreating form intently as she stopped, her shoulders sinking.   
  
"I always wonder, every day," she whispered, loud enough for Max's X5 hearing to pick up, but too soft for any ordinary to hear.  
  
"They were killed," the X-5 stated emotionlessly. "They weren't good enough." Now bitterness revealed that she did care. "We were the ones holding their hopes up."   
  
"You're an X-4?" Juna turned to face Max again.  
  
"X-5."  
  
Two doctors walked by and Juna nervously glanced after them. Then she stepped towards Max again and explained in a rushed, soft tone: "I've left the past behind me. It's not a part of my life anymore."  
  
"It's part of who you are," Max disagreed.  
  
"Three days after we'd escaped, Jean, Lenny, Fran and me- we made a pact. We'd go our separate ways and never use the strength they had bred us with again and never look back. I intend to stick to that pact, and nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind."  
  
"Mrs Walsh, your daughter woke up." A nurse gently smiled at the two women, obviously feeling a little self-conscious about having interrupted the conversation.  
  
"Excuse-me." Juna shot one last look at Max, and then followed the nurse, leaving a confused Max behind. She had never considered denying her 'powers' - not in front of herself anyway. She used them constantly; they were the only thing she had left. The only good thing that had come out of Manticore. She had always felt like she had every right to make use of them- after all she had been through.  
  
Deep in thoughts she returned to her position on the plastic chair next to Randy's room.  
  
*  
  
To Be Continued  
  
PS: I'd like to know what you guys think! 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See chapter one  
  
A/N: Thanks to somebody's Angel again. Other than that there isn't much to say but: ENJOY!  
  
Oh, and right: reviews are always welcomed!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
"What is it with you and Max?" Randy looked up at his old friend. "She seems like a nice girl."  
  
"She is." Logan blushed.  
  
"But?" Randy queried.  
  
"We're not like that." Geez, he sounded like a broken record. That line came right after 'I'm sorry, Logan' as the most frequently used words of the year.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Logan shrugged. "Long story. We're just too different."  
  
Randy raised his head slightly. "Logan, you're talking bullshit. What happened to you? You've always had a way with girls, and you got what you wanted- always."  
  
"Things have changed," Logan said harshly.   
  
"Alright, you're in a wheelchair. But do you really think she would be here with you if it mattered to her?"  
  
"She deserves better," Logan's voice was emotionless. He had to stay in control; he couldn't let his feelings interfere. It was too dangerous for both of them.  
  
"This is not about her." Randy shook his head weakly. "This is all about you."  
  
"Pardon?" Logan shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like where this was going.  
  
"You are scared."   
  
"I'm not scared."  
  
"Yes, you are. You're worried she might reject you." Randy took a deep breath and gathered his strength. "But you know what? Life's too short for worrying about what might happen that. You have to take risks. And anyway, that girl has it bad for you."  
  
Logan didn't have an answer to that.  
  
"You promise me you'll go for it?" Randy coughed, his breath now coming in irregular gasps. "Logan?" he pressed one last time before his body gave in to the exhaustion and he closed his eyes.  
  
"I'll think about it," Logan whispered.  
  
Max was distracted when Logan pulled up next to her. "Randy fell asleep," he explained.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"He's still hoping." Logan answered diplomatically. "You okay?" He put his head to one side and looked at her questioningly.  
  
"I talked to Juna," Max shrugged.   
  
"And?"  
  
"And she told me to leave her alone. She…she wants to forget about her past, said she left it behind." Max stood up and began to pace.  
  
"And you don't believe that?" It was more of a statement than a question. His eyes followed her as she walked up and down in front of him.  
  
"I can't imagine any of us could forget."  
  
Logan shrugged, staring at his hands, his fingers entwined. "For some people it's easier to try and bury the past. You're probably just gonna have to accept that."  
  
Before Max could answer they were interrupted. "Max! Logan!" Mackenzie ran towards them, a wide grin spreading on her face.  
  
"Hey!" Max almost lost her balance when the kid jumped into her arms.   
  
Logan watched, a huge smile on his face, despite the current situation. "Hi young lady," he greeted her and the girl blushed, smiling back shyly.   
  
"Hi, Logan."  
  
Max winked at him over Mackenzie's head, forming kisses with her lips and giggling. This young lady obviously had a crush! And it wasn't like Max didn't understand. Logan definitely was a great guy.  
  
Mackenzie jumped back down on the floor and tugged at Max's denim jacket. "Do you want to go to the park with me? My mom said she wants to stay here, and I'm not allowed to go alone."  
  
"Which park?" Max asked, looking at Logan questioningly.  
  
"There's one behind the hospital," Logan explained. "It's pretty huge."  
  
"Sure, why not. You wanna come, too?"  
  
"Nah, thanks. Been there quite a few times before. I think I'll rather stay here."  
  
Juna had walked up behind them by now and Max addressed her, "Is it okay?"  
  
"Sure, why not," she answered distractedly. "Just don't, you know, she doesn't know and…"  
  
"Don't worry. Come on, Mackenzie!" Max offered her hand and the little girl grabbed it happily.   
  
"See ya, Mom!"   
  
Max let herself be dragged to the elevator, giggling.  
  
"How's your husband?" Logan asked when Max and Mackenzie had disappeared from view.  
  
"In surgery. All I can do is wait," Juna sighed.  
  
"I'm sure he's gonna be fine," Logan offered, flinching at his words. He knew that they were just that – only words, and saying them wouldn't help Juna deal with the situation. Everybody always said those words. 'You'll be fine', 'Everything's gonna be alright', 'You'll pull through'. He had heard all of them countless times over the past year. They never really helped him because he felt like people were just looking for the easy way out. Tell the poor guy that everything's gonna work out and the conscience is eased, and then when they turned away, or even before they did, they would have a look of pity in their eyes which he couldn't stand. No, those words didn't really offer comfort.  
  
But Juna seemed to have accepted them. "Yeah. How is your friend anyway?"  
  
"Not so good."  
  
"Have you seen the Eyes Only hack? About the organ traders?"  
  
"No, Max and I were riding up in the elevator," Logan replied quickly. "It's a good thing he stopped them though." He chided himself when he realized it had almost sounded like a question.  
  
"Yeah, this guy seems like a really cool guy. It's very brave to stand up against everybody."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Logan rubbed his hands over his thighs. "Listen, you…ahem, want some coffee, I'll buy."  
  
"I think it's my turn."  
  
"Nah, let me, as an excuse for our sudden disappearance the last time."  
  
"Okay." Juna smiled. She was beautiful when she did so, not gorgeously breathtaking like Max, but still…Logan wondered if all Manticore kids were engineered to look good. Maybe that was some sick play by the scientists. Have something to look at. He forced those thoughts aside.  
  
Logan was just about to return to Randy's room, wondering where Brad had gone to in his emotional state of mind, when he heard screams from down the hallway. Both he and Juna, who was walking behind him, watched in horror as Brad walked towards them, a gun in his right hand and a vest around his chest.   
  
Juna was the first to realize what was really happening. "It's a bomb!" she hissed, just loud enough for Logan to hear.  
  
Waving the gun around warningly, Brad stepped into various rooms with one feet and forced everybody who could get up down the hallway, keeping an eye on the frightened group of people he had already gathered. "You try something and I'll shoot someone!" he yelled.  
  
Logan and Juna watched, completely shocked and unable to move. Eventually Brad reached them and aimed the gun at Juna's head. "Get movin'."  
  
"Brad, what are you doing here?" Logan swivelled his chair around and held up his hands. "You won't change anything."  
  
"I'll make them give Randy a new liver. He won't die. You hear me? He will not die!"  
  
TBC… 


	8. Chapter 8

This is gonna be a really short chapter, but my computer broke down last week and I lost all my files. This is just to let you know I'm still there and I'm gonna finish this as soon as possible. Real life's just interfering these days…  
  
Please have some patience and review!!  
  
CHAPTER 8  
  
"Brad, if they had one they…"  
  
"Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! If you had agreed to give me the money right away we wouldn't even be here!" He shoved the gun hard into Logan's upper back.A woman screamed when she saw the gun actually being pointed at someone.  
  
Logan put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, just stay calm, don't do anything stupid." He slowly wheeled over to the two rows of chairs facing each other. He hated the feeling of someone with a gun standing behind him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to move fast enough to escape and the memory of a bullet ripping through his back was suddenly present again, making him shiver.  
  
Juna had already sunk down in the chair closest to him, glancing nervously down the hallway where her husband was having surgery.   
  
Logan stopped next to her, quickly swivelling around so he could face the man behind him again.. "Brad. This isn't a solution…" Logan tried again when he realized Brad wasn't listening. "Please, put the gun down, strip off this vest and we can talk."  
  
"You know what? I can't strip it off. If I do we all go boom." His arms flew in the air and he laughed hysterically. The look in his eyes made Logan realize that the man had lost it. There was no way he could reason with him.  
  
He swallowed. Somehow he had to get those people out of the building they had nothing to do with it. It was all his fault, he realized. He had brought this on, he and his stupid sense of justice. Now it might actually kill people. "Listen, I'm sure the police know about this. If you don't cooperate you won't walk out of here alive."   
  
"And neither will you," was the cold answer, and Logan was surprised how calm Brad seemed. "I don't care. My brother is dying in there! He is dying!" In a matter of moments the franticness was back.  
  
Logan closed his eyes for a short instance. He recognized the signs. This guy was desperate, he had nothing to lose. Logan didn't press, in the hope that maybe Brad would realize what he was doing when he had some time to think about everything.  
  
Five minutes passed and Logan watched the scared group of hostages. There were a few old people, two of them in wheelchairs, heavy, big hospital issue wheelchairs. There was no way they could get them out of there quickly.  
  
And again, memories came floating back to him. God, he had always hated those wheelchairs. The nurses would have sat him in them and wheeled him to the window so he could watch the busy street below. As if any of this helped. Hadn't they realized in how much pain he had been? How much additional pain facing the reality of everyday life down there caused? He vigorously forced the dark thoughts back…  
  
Some staff members, nurses, a doctor, and two young women who trying to calm down three scared kids, the oldest about Mackenzie's age. A man maybe about Logan's age sat protectively in front of the kids, eyeing Brad disgustedly.  
  
Logan's eyes wandered to Juna, she was the only one sitting upright, refusing to show any signs of fear or confusion. Maybe Max had been right about her…  
  
The look in those green eyes reminded him of the cold, distant look he had seen in Max's brown eyes when she was on a mission.  
  
The telephone in the nurse's room rang, and after what seemed like an eternity Brad took the five steps and answered it. He listened for a moment, and then abruptly broke the connection. "Go to hell!"  
  
"What did they want?" Logan asked tentatively. He knew he was walking a thin line, but he couldn't just sit there and wait. He knew Brad, and he knew that he was not a hostile man, he was just desperate and out of control. Maybe he would eventually realize what he was doing.  
  
"They wanted me to let you go," Brad snorted.  
  
"You should consider it," Logan replied. "At least the women and the kids."  
  
"First I want a doctor walking in here with a liver."  
  
Logan considered the next step for a moment, and then decided to risk it. "Let the kids and the women go."  
  
"Shut up!" Brad yelled and stepped closer, his fist connecting with Logan's jaw. The force knocked him back and the chair tipped over. Logan landed hard on the floor, the chair coming to land on his unfeeling legs.  
  
Juna had jumped up, but Brad immediately aimed the gun at her, making her hesitate. "Easy," she tried, watching as Logan pulled himself into a sitting position and shoved the chair aside.  
  
His hand wandered to his mouth and he winced when he touched his lip. He looked at it and saw that his fingers were covered in blood. 'I won't let anybody stitch me up!' was his first thought.  
  
"Call them! Tell 'em I'm serious!" Brad screamed again and Logan obeyed, awkwardly reaching for the phone that had landed on the floor a few inches away.  
  
He explained the situation, giving the cop on the other end of the line as much hidden information as possible, keeping one eye on Brad. Eventually he lowered the phone.  
  
"I know the cop in charge. He'll see what he can do." He handed the phone back. "Brad," he tried again, feeling rather vulnerable as he sat on the floor. "We both know Randy. He wouldn't want this."  
  
"No, he doesn't want to die! That's what he wants!"  
  
Logan shook his head. "Brad, you can't hold back death if it's meant to be…" Logan had to make Brad understand the bitter reality. He had heard a doctor talk to a nurse, telling her that Randy might lose his battle any minute. What if it happened while they were still held hostage? How would Brad react? He had to prepare him, somehow.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
TBC  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
  
A/N: We're nearing the end! There is gonna be the show-down in Chapter 10. I hope you enjoyed the ride so far and keep on reading till the end.  
  
A million thanks to somebody's angel for her patience and advice!!!  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Another ten long minutes passed before the phone rang again.   
  
The hostages had calmed down somewhat, the kids were looking up at the man with the gun with big, scared eyes, but their tears had run dry. The old people sat there, eyes half-closed, as if they were just patiently awaiting the end, Logan thought. He was not going to let that happen! He awkwardly sat up straighter on the hard floor he couldn't even feel, suddenly remembering that might result in pressure sores for him. Bling's face appeared in front of his inner eyes, warning him. He snorted inwardly- like this was of important right now. To hell with his useless body!  
  
The phone was still ringing and Logan returned to reality when Brad stepped closer. "You answer it!" he pointed at Juna.  
  
The young woman did as she was told, her body tense as she stood up and reached for the phone, which still was on the chair next to Logan.   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
After putting it down she turned to Brad, standing up straight in front of him, refusing to back down. Logan couldn't see her eyes, but he knew what was in them. In the past few minutes he had realized how much she was like Max: caring and gentle most of the time, but when she or someone she cared about was threatened, she would suppress all those emotions and transform into an emotionless soldier. Logan had always wondered if this was something he admired or feared about Max. Right now he was glad Juna was there, somebody to stand up against this crazy guy. After all, he wouldn't ever be able to do that.  
  
"They can have a liver here in about six hours. But you will have to let the hostages go."  
  
"Right! And when I'm in here alone they'll just come in and kill me!"  
  
"I'm going to stay," Logan said immediately.   
  
"Me, too." Juna agreed, smiling bravely down at the man seated on the floor next to her.  
  
Brad considered the offer, playing with the gun in his hand, making Logan look up at him in alarm. "You two," he pointed at a young male nurse and the guy who had courageously sat in front of the kids, "stay here. The others can leave!" When the people cast scared and nervous glances at each other, unsure if they were really allowed to move, he almost lost his patience. "Go!"  
  
The group hastily climbed to their feet, the women grabbing the children, the others helping each other out.   
  
Brad vigorously grabbed Juna by the arm and she tensed and, for a moment, Logan thought she was going to fight him, just as a reflex. He let out a sigh of relief when she relaxed, although the difference in her stance was so minimal that only Logan picked up on it, having witnessed the same changes in Max many times. Holding the gun to Juna's neck, Brad followed the group hustling down the hallway and around the corner towards the elevators.  
  
Logan couldn't see what was going on, there was absolute silence for a minute that seemed like an eternity. Then he heard three shots. He gasped, and his hands flew to the floor in an unconscious attempt to lever his body up. Then he sank back, his heart hammering, his eyes closing. What the hell had happened? If Brad had shot someone, he wouldn't be able to live with himself, he knew that much. He had brought all of this on!  
  
"Do you think we could swim here when it's warmer?" Mackenzie asked as they strolled down the path. They had walked through the entire park, the look on Logan's face when he had mentioned that he knew this park as well continually flowing through Max's mind. She had seen a therapist with a young guy in a wheelchair trying to get down a flight of stairs. The look in the guy's face had been one she had seen on Logan a million times. Hardened, desperate and exhausted.   
  
It had disturbed her more than she wanted to admit. Logan had been there, too. And she hadn't cared. She had just let him down, assuming he was a big, arrogant macho guy who deserved what he had been dealt.  
  
"Max?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think we could come back here for a swim when it's warmer?" Mackenzie repeated.  
  
"I don't know," Max answered distractedly. She had heard weird noises from around the building.  
  
"Come on!" she told Mackenzie and hand in hand they ran to the front of the hospital.  
  
Eventually Brad returned with Juna. She didn't look hurt. He roughly shoved her onto one of the seats. "Stay right there."  
  
"What happened?" Logan whispered, awkwardly trying to lean closer.  
  
"He just shot the circuits of the elevators."  
  
Even though Logan knew he should be relieved, a thought crept into his head and he suddenly felt panic. Now he was really trapped. The elevators had been his only chance to escape, even if the chance was merely theoretical.  
  
Max and Mackenzie stood there opened-mouthed, looking at the crowds and the large amount of police cars and policemen trying to get the situation under control. "Come on," she urged the little girl and rushed closer.  
  
Max immediately recognized Det. Sung when she came around the corner. He was standing next to his car, a phone in his hand, looking at the hospital with narrowed eyes.  
  
"Detective Sung! Matt!"   
  
He turned towards the sound of her voice. "Max! Why am I not surprised you are here?"  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Some freak took hostages. He wants a liver transplant."  
  
"Brad," she concluded furiously.  
  
"So you know him, too."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I had Logan on the phone some minutes ago, he seemed fine."  
  
Suddenly there was a murmur going through the crowd that had gathered a safe distance away.  
  
Both Max and Matt watched as a group of people hurried out of the building. Police men, heavily armed, ran towards them, and guarded them to safety.  
  
"Logan's still inside. I'm going in."  
  
"Max, I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that."  
  
"I'm not asking your permission. You don't even know. Here. Take care of her." With that she left Mackenzie with the Asian policeman and made her way back where she had come from. She assumed finding an unguarded back entrance shouldn't be too hard.  
  
Suddenly there was an alarm beeping loud and persistent.   
  
"What's that?"  
  
"It's coming from the nurse's room," the male nurse explained, frightened. "Something's wrong with one of the patients."  
  
Logan felt Juna tense immediately, her eyes shooting down the hallway to where her husband was still having surgery, unaware of what was going on here. The surgeons apparently hadn't noticed what had happened, or they had decided not to quit despite it all. She was immensely grateful for that, one way or the other.  
  
Logan put a calming hand on Juna's thigh and let his gaze wander towards Brad. He still couldn't believe that this was the same cute, gentle, little brother who had always tried to be like Randy when he was little. "Let him have a look, Brad," he stated, exhaustion slowly creeping into his voice. He just wanted this to be over; after all, he was still nothing but a mere mortal in an extreme situation. "You don't want anybody to die, do you?"  
  
The question seemed ridiculous, even to his own ears, given the situation.  
  
Still, Brad made the by a sign "Go! You try anything, somebody's dead," he warned.  
  
"It's your brother!" The boy yelled from the nurse's station. "His blood pressure has fallen. I need to give him a stimulant!"  
  
"Then do it!" he ran after the male nurse, turning back towards the hostages at the door to Randy's room. "Any of you move, he is dead!" He threatened, before disappearing out of sight.  
  
Juna waited until Brad was really gone, then she slipped to the floor next to Logan. "What are we supposed to do? This can't go on forever." She gently touched Logan's lip. "Does it hurt bad?"  
  
"I'm fine." Logan harshly turned his head, and then he took a deep breath. "Sorry. I was hoping Max would come back," he explained vaguely. "But it'll take a few more hours to get a liver here, and in his current state of mind…"  
  
Brad returned alone. "The kid stays with Randy."  
  
"Man, what you are doing here is bullshit!" The other man suddenly spoke up, jumping to his feet.   
  
Without a second's hesitation, Brad stormed over, and from the look in his eyes he was actually ready to kill. "Shut up!" With the back of his gun he knocked him out. The man sank to the floor, his eyelids flickering and after another moment they closed, as he slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
Brad towered over him, looking at Logan and Juna. "This is all the fault of this great, fantastic Eyes Only." His words dripped with hate. "If he hadn't gotten involved in this thing, Randy would have had surgery today and he'd be fine. Do you hear me? He would LIVE!"  
  
Suddenly Logan calmed significantly. He knew what he had to do. "If I get you Eyes Only will you let the others go?"  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
"This is what you want, right?"  
  
TBC 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer see chapter 1  
  
A/N: Sorry it took me that long already again, but real life is kinda more important right now. I hope you guys can understand that!   
  
Reviews telling me to get my a movin' are greatly appreciated! All others as well obviously!  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Arriving on the fourth floor, Max slowly opened the door to the staircase. She could hear voices in the distance immediately. Checking thoroughly that she had stayed undetected, she silently sneaked closer.  
  
"I'll get you Eyes Only!" Were the first words she could understand.  
  
"Damn it, Logan," she cursed, louder than she should have. Biting her lower lip and feeling her heart beat faster, she jumped into an empty room, waiting a moment to make sure nobody had noticed her. 'Why do you always have to play the knight in shining armour? This really isn't the time for your old-fashioned chivalry,' she directed her anger towards Logan.   
  
Brad looked at Logan, hate blazing in his eyes. He didn't seem to doubt the truth of Logan's words for a single second. Then a dangerous smile started to play around his lips. "You know what? I'll kill her if you don't tell me. What do you think about that?" He aimed the gun at Juna. "I'm listening."  
  
"Brad, this won't solve anything. Even if Randy lives, you will spend the rest of your life in jail. What good would that do? How do you think Randy would feel, knowing that you gave up your freedom to save his life?"  
  
"Shut up! You get me Eyes Only or she's dead!" he clicked the safety off. "Tell me!"  
  
"I…I'm Eyes Only!" Logan felt like he had just signed his own death warrant. He had said it out loud. Everything he had protected so fiercely, sacrificed so much for as worth nothing anymore.  
  
"What the hell?" Brad looked at him, a mixture of hate and disbelief on his face.   
  
As the gun was still touching Juna's temple, Logan continued. "I was the one who delivered the cable hack. I was the one who took away Randy's last chance. It's not fair that innocent people have to give their lives for this!"  
  
"You bastard!" Brad turned the gun at Logan. "You son of a bitch!"  
  
Logan could see Brad's finger compressing the trigger and he knew instantly that he would not be able to move fast enough to avoid the bullet. This was it. The second bullet would do the job and kill him. 'Well, this is certainly better than what the first one did to me!' He thought sarcastically. If Max had heard that she would have kicked his ass.   
  
Max! He couldn't do that to her! He had seen the look in her eyes when she had thrown herself into his lap after THE incident.  
  
"No!" Juna reacted in a split second. She threw herself at Brad and struggled to get a grip on the gun as they both landed hard on the floor. She heard the sound of the gun being fired and she could only pray that she had been fast enough, that the bullet was directed somewhere other than Logan's heart or head.  
  
Suddenly there was an odd sound and when she looked down she could see a green light blinking on the bomb that was still strapped tightly around Brad's upper body.  
  
For a moment, Juna was distracted, her concentration on the new threat rather than on the guy lying beneath her, struggling to win the fight of his life. Her distractedness, combined with the adrenaline and despair cursing through his body, allowed him to deliver a hard punch to her jaw.   
  
For a moment she thought she was going to lose consciousness, she felt herself slip towards the darkness, but then she collected all her strength and fury and continued trying to wrestle the gun from Brad's tight grip. Suddenly another shot went off and Brad's body turned limb under her hands.  
  
"Logan! Juna!" Max had heard the commotion and had decided that this was the moment to risk exposure.  
  
"Max! The bomb!" Juna tried to unstrap the belt with trembling fingers, but in her haste was unable to do so. "Oh my God! It's gonna explode! It's gonna explode!" she yelled, panic clear in her voice.  
  
Max suddenly found herself back in Manticore, a 7-year old kid, and saw herself as she stood over a bomb, much bigger than this one with the time ticking away. She was all alone in a huge building, the sound of the timer echoing in the vastness. But no matter how clear the picture got, she couldn't remember the slightest feeling of panic. They were trained to stay calm, to analyze the situation and then solve the issue. The way Juna reacted was not very Manticore-like.  
  
Then again, Zack had accused her of becoming too weak and sentimental. Who could blame Juna?  
  
Max knelt down next to her, realizing that the other transgenic wasn't exaggerating. Her eyes instinctively looked at Logan who was lying on the floor, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to regain his breath. She wouldn't let him die! With all the force she possessed she tore the belt from Brad's chest. She looked down at the device she held in her hands. The beeping had increased constantly and had now reached an almost continuous sound that wore at her nerves. That much about always staying in control- well, maybe if Logan wasn't lying helplessly on the floor a few feet away…But he was there, he always was, if not in person, in her mind. Zack had been right. She had let her guards down and now she lost control. But did she really care?  
  
She cursed, chasing away the thoughts she wouldn't find answers for anyway, as she realized that there was no time left to even try and disarm the bomb. Not hesitating another second she came to a decision.  
  
With enhanced speed she ran down the corridor and simply threw the deadly package through an open window.   
  
She leaned outside, watching as the bomb fell towards the lake. She certainly hoped the water was deep enough.   
  
Moments later the water bubbled and huge waves washed towards the shore. 'Damn, that was close.'  
  
"Logan?" Juna and the young male nurse were leaning over him, worried expressions on their faces when Max returned.  
  
"He okay?" Max felt her breath catch in the throat, an invisible force strangling her, robbing her of all air.  
  
And eternity passed before the young nurse sat up straighter and smiled at her encouragingly. "He's okay, the bullet just grazed him." His face became paler by the second, the events of the past few hours apparently catching up with him. "Excuse-me," he mumbled while struggling to stand and then hurrying towards the bathroom, the entire stress of the past few hours apparently caught up with him.   
  
"I'll call down and let the police know it's over and that we are okay," Juna said tiredly.  
  
Max only managed to nod, her eyes fixed on the man lying on the floor. She slowly knelt down next to him in the spot the male nurse had vacated.  
  
Logan was clutching his arm, his pupils dilated, his face pale. He still managed to smile at her a little. "Thanks," he whispered.  
  
Max shrugged, desperately needing to have an air of normalcy. "That's what I'm here for." She got up again after gently touching his hand, if just for a split second.  
  
She leaned over Brad and checked for a pulse. "He's dead," she stated emotionlessly. "Good."  
  
"Max!"  
  
"What? He didn't exactly act like a nice guy today. Besides, what would you have done if he had told the police about you, huh?" She felt the anger she had suppressed earlier surface again. "How could you have told him? Are you completely crazy?"  
  
"What was I supposed to do? He would have killed everybody."  
  
"You could have waited for me," Max snapped back.  
  
"I hate to tell you, but you took an awfully long time today," he hissed when a new wave of pain followed his words.  
  
"Whatever." Max rolled her eyes. "Anyway, what are we gonna do about Juna, she knows, too."  
  
"Don't worry," a voice came from behind her. "Your secret's safe with me. Manticore kids have to stick together, right?" She winked at Max. "And now excuse me, I have to see how my husband's doing. Where have you left Mackenzie anyway?"  
  
"Thank you." Max said gratefully. "She is safely with the police."  
  
Max returned to Logan's side and scrutinized him closely. "That was a close call, you know."  
  
Logan sighed. "Yeah, it was."  
  
THE END  
  
(There is gonna be an epilogue though!) 


	11. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Like in the beginning, I don't own the characters or the concept. I'm just trying to have some fun here, no need to sue me!  
  
A/N: See at the very end!  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
Max picked the lock like she always did. Of course, she could ring the bell, but most of the time Logan would probably be so engrossed in his work that he wouldn't hear it, and when he did hear it he had a tendency to ignore it. Besides, this way she saved him the trouble of having to come to the door.   
  
She considered those reasons for a moment while the lock clicked open. No, that wasn't the truth, not the entire truth anyway, she admitted to herself. Her walking into his apartment whenever she wanted spread an air of trust and silent understanding. He had never complained about it, and the way he looked when she leaned against the doorframe of his office made her feel welcomed, like he was happy to see her- any time. He could be in the worst mood ever, but when he saw Max there was something in his eyes that made him look happy, even if only for a short moment. Maybe she just imagined it, but what if she didn't? What if, for some weird reason, she meant something to him, something special?  
  
Yeah, it was good the way it was. No need to change the habit.  
  
Max walked straight towards his office where he was already typing away at his computer. She wondered if he had been to bed at all. At least he was wearing something different, and his hair was still slightly damp.   
  
So he had taken a shower. That was something, she decided.  
  
A mug filled with coffee stood next to him on the desk, so chances were he had actually eaten some breakfast.  
  
God! He was an adult- she didn't have the right to worry about those things. He was responsible for his own actions. And if he wanted to work all night or refused to eat, so be it. After all, who was she to judge?  
  
"Morning." Max leaned against the desk, closer than usual. He did look tired, she thought. "How are you?" she asked tentatively, it was hard to judge what kind of mood he was in. Sometimes a simple question like that was taken as an attack, other times he just accepted it.  
  
"Fine, I guess I just didn't get much sleep last night." He scratched his beard, which was a little longer than usual. Apparently he noticed that as well as he frowned at it.  
  
He pushed back from his desk, favouring the injured arm and watching the screen in front of him intently. After a moment he snapped out of his daze and sighed as he turned to look at her. "The hospital called earlier this morning. Randy died." He shook his head in disbelief. "He didn't make it."  
  
"I'm sorry." Max felt helpless. The pain in Logan's eyes was more obvious than she was used to, and it disturbed her. Usually he managed to hide it very well. She caught glimpses of it every now and then, but she could always be sure that a moment later he had hidden it again. This time it was still there, even after blinking twice.  
  
"Yeah." He bit his lower lip. "Me, too. He didn't deserve this, Max."   
  
"I know. Sometimes life just ain't fair." She felt like she was stating the obvious. After all, to Logan this adapted better than to anybody else. Life hadn't been fair to him either.  
  
Another sigh followed, as if he needed the time to collect himself. "I'm just glad he didn't know what has happened to Brad, what he had done."  
  
"Not nice to know what siblings are capable of, huh?" she referred to her own family.  
  
Logan didn't react on it. "You know, I'm just wondering if I did the right thing." Sounding like a lost child who needed comfort and assurance, he looked down and watched the long, slim fingers of his left hand wandering over the rim of his wheelchair.  
  
"You did." Max didn't hesitate a single moment. She was absolutely convinced.  
  
"Yeah?" His hand was now brushing through his hair, and the spikes that made him look much younger reappeared, but this time he didn't look any younger. "It's quite a burden, you know. Getting to decide who gets to live and who doesn't."  
  
"You did the right thing, Logan." Max repeated insistently. "You couldn't let it get too personal. There were innocent people dying so some morons could make money out of it. You just couldn't let that go on."  
  
"But I killed a friend," Logan's voice almost broke.  
  
"And you saved God knows how many other people; people that have loved ones who would have gone through so much pain if they had lost them like that."  
  
"I guess." He looked up at her, forcing a smile on his face. He didn't seem to be convinced, but at least he seemed to be willing to try and believe her. "You got time to grab a cup of coffee somewhere?"  
  
"What? You wanna go out in the middle of the day? Got no work to do?" she feigned shock. "Who are you and where's my Logan?"   
  
Logan looked up at her at the choice of words. Had she really said "my"? Had she meant it? No, it couldn't be. "I think I need a break," was his short response. He didn't allow his confusion to show in his voice.  
  
"Then sure. You lead the way!"  
  
Logan had just put on his leather jacket when the phone started to ring. For a moment he considered ignoring it, but eventually, with an apologizing glance towards Max, he wheeled over to his office and answered it.  
  
Max strolled after him, taking her usual position, leaning against the door frame while she watched him deep in thought.  
  
"Yeah, I see….Okay, great…I'll tell her…All the best. Bye, bye." He put the phone back down and turned to head out of the apartment.  
  
"Who was that?" Max asked when it seemed like he wasn't going to tell her.  
  
"Sorry, I thought you had listened. You looked like you were concentrating."  
  
Max felt herself blush. He had caught her staring at him! "I ain't gonna eavesdrop on private conversations, you know."  
  
"Yeah, right," he chuckled. If Max hadn't listened, why had she been looking at him like that? "Anway, it was Juna. She wanted to let us know her husband made it. And Mackenzie is hoping we're going to visit them one of these days. She invited us for dinner sometime next month, when her husband's back home."  
  
"Sounds good." Max grinned, following Logan towards the elevator. She hesitated for a second and then gently rested her hand on his shoulder while they waited for the door to open.  
  
Logan's gaze wandered to the small hand the moment he had felt the touch, then up to Max's face. He answered the shy smile she gave him and took a deep breath.  
  
This felt just right.  
  
THE END  
  
Well, one last time, a million thanks to somebody's angel who made this story a better one. And I'm sorry there isn't more shippiness in this one. It just feels right this way; I didn't want to go for some unrealistic, idealistic, fluffy ending. But you never know, one day, in a story in the future it might feel right!  
  
Everybody who read this story until this point: Get over yourself and write a M/L story of your own, we need some more!!!!  
  
And now I'll be off playing some beachvolleyball and enjoy my summer (which is quite rainy over here, but well…can't have everything!) 


End file.
